I have been a pretty sheltered boy from a very young age and have not really had the opportunity to explore myself and the world because my parents always wanted me to be a good boy.
Even though I did pretty well in school and got good grades, I wasn’t really exposed to real life and had a bit of a naive outlook on life. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I first got the opportunity to travel by myself because it was the age at which I became an adult.
The shocking thing about being on your own and opening your eyes to the world is quite a big contrast to the sheltered life that you have lived. Not everyone was nice or caring as I hoped the world would be. You have to make choices and decisions for yourself and take care of yourself because you’re an adult now with an opportunity to create your own path in life.
Despite some time getting used to making decisions for myself I was still happy that my parents trusted me to live my own life at a rather young age. Being in a foreign country where you know nobody was kinda scary at first but it also gave me the freedom to explore myself without judgment and with a clean slate.
You don’t have teachers friends and relatives to tell you who you were and who you are. It felt like an opportunity to recreate myself and become the person I had always wanted to be but was too afraid to become.
I found myself attending parties talking to random strangers doing things that I never imagined doing. Travel allowed me to come out of my shell and explore who I was as a person. It is interesting to think back to those memories and realize that although I have changed quite a bit, I’m still the same person that I was. Maybe my age has increased, and my views about life changed; however, I wouldn’t say it has been uprooted.
I still have the same dreams I still have the same year earnings for life that I did back when I was young. Maybe I’ve become a bit pessimistic and cynical to a certain degree, but deep down I still wish for my younger self to be more present in the life that I live now.
In some ways maybe I had been hoping that traveling will fill an inner void that I know can’t be filled. Even though my first experiences with travel were amazing and eye-opening that allowed me to understand who I was, I am still chasing for the same high.
At a certain point you do have to accept that you need to settle down and belong somewhere because if you keep changing your life environment over and over again it is something that becomes what is normal for you which makes it hard to appreciate relationships friendships because you know sooner or later those will end when you move away.
So I only have memories and a vague idea of the people that I used to know that I used to love and care for. But such is life and travel you create beautiful memories but sooner or later you do have to say goodbye to them.