It’s been a little over 3 years since I started to travel by myself without considering to ask my friends or other people that I know of to come along with me. Sometimes they do come along and travel on some of my adventures, but mostly it has been me against the world traveling by myself, seeing what the world has to offer.
There comes a point in time though, where you start to question why it is that you travel in the first place. What is it all for? Are we looking for something within our heart to fill, something to take our minds off? Do we travel to escape from the mundaneness of reality and live a life of high and constant exploration?
At the end of the day, are some of us just never happy with normalness and things as is, so traveling perhaps acts as a way for us escape the reality of life and create some poetry into our lives?
Meeting people along your journey and travels
Meeting new people during your travels is not necessarily that hard anymore. You have applications and online communities that you can make friends over very easily, and in certain situations if you are not the shy type, you can even make friends out on the streets randomly.
However, one of the saddening aspects of making friends during your travels is that they are all short lived and somehow they don’t go beyond surface of truly understanding who you are are. Before you know it, you have friends all over the world, who you never even talk to again, but someone you keep them in your pocket in case they do come across your path again someday in future.
It’s not truly a friendship that most normal people have; it’s rather a bond and connection based on circumstances and the situation. Some may have developed a bond and connection with you to a deeper level than you can ever think of, but there isn’t that attachment. You don’t really know who they are, you don’t really understand what they are like in their everyday lives.
Romances and love while traveling by yourself
Similar with friendships when you travel by yourself, your romances are very short lived. Sometimes they are cut short due to circumstances and timing of it all. You are just two souls who came to meet for brief moment of time, no matter how impactful and life changing the experience may be, you don’t really know who you fell in love with.
It’s and idealization, a fantasy you perhaps go back to relive from time to time. While I am sure a lot of us want something that is everlasting and something that goes beyond time and space, can we really accept the frailties of our supposedly idealized loved ones?
We don’t know what they are like when they wake up in the morning, we don’t know how they act after a long day of work; they are not the gods or goddesses we make them out to be in our minds.
The everfeeling sense of emptiness of traveling by yourself
You see many amazing things during your travels, things that make you question the reality of things and what we consider life. However, these memories you make sooner or later fade and it’s something you only go back to and revisit through pictures or memories.
Sometimes beautiful things have the effect of making me even more sad, because I know it’s a moment that I will never get to experience to the same level of intensity ever again, and the more you repeat the high and awe inspiring experience, the more difficult it gets for the normalness of life to excite you, to give you a meaning, something to strive towards.
It’s hard not to fall into sense of nihilism and doubt of the existence of things. Yes, you see amazing and beautiful things, but too much beauty can make the real life in comparison banal and boring. There is no going back once you set foot on such a journey. You will be called back and you will be chasing that new high as much as you try to settle again, something else will call you to make you feel elavated and out of your body.
Maybe we are filling a void within ourselves
I am coming to the conclusion that somehow we are searching for something within ourselves. Something that we have not addressed and answered deep within us. We go searching on the outside world trying to find something that will fill our hearts deep within, when the only way to fill our hearts is from within.
Maybe we are looking for a home, a place to belong, a place to feel welcomed a place we can stay and remain forever. Maybe at the end of the day, we are looking for a place that is eternal, everlasting, something that will never change, because most of our lives have been constant change, constant movement, that we get tired of it at some point.
However, since we might have seen it all, the question is, where? Where do we feel at home? Where do we stay? Is it someone else who makes us stay? Or is it a place, community of people that make you feel at home? Who is to also say that life is meant to spent only in one place though?
Maybe some of us are just meant to wander the world lost and confused, searching for a place we can call home. At least having someone who is on the same quest perhaps might help or practicing mindfulness and acceptance of experiences/moments as a fleeting and short lived.
A book that is highly recommended to try reading is the Power of Now, at least it gives me some sense of comfort and acceptance of the supposed dilemma.
Last update on 2019-09-21 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API