As I wander through life, it’s interesting how you are challenged every step of the way whether it is emotionally, spiritually, and many other facets of existence. Everything you have grown to know, everything you thought was truth sometimes comes crumbling down right in front of you.
Though there can be many explanations for things happening the way it did, I would like to believe the universe or life as we call it puts certain people and events in your life for you to learn a new perspective. While I won’t deny things can just happen randomly or for no reason at all and while it very may be just meaningless, at least the latter thought is more comforting (probably one of the reasons we have religion in the world).
Living in A Selfish World
I think it’s in our nature to be selfish, to see things from a perspective of lack, and because of that lack is probably where desire and attachment comes from. If we had the power to create reality as we pleased instantly, who knows maybe we would never know what attachment or desire actually is?
Regardless, it’s the reality of the world we live in, where since birth you are conditioned to believe that the world is harsh, cold and lacking, that you have to make something of yourself to be worthy, to be loved by others, and to protect what you have.
Attachment in Our Everday Lives
Materialism is the most easy and common form of attachment we might experience. A lot of us accrue junk and hoard all that junk because we can’t let go. Maybe it’s that ugly sweater you bought for Christmas, or maybe that toy that sits under your shelf, you probably still keep things that you don’t need.
Friends come and go, whether it’s because of life circumstance, falling out, or just losing touch, but sometimes we hold on to friendships that no longer serve us. Sometimes we try to maintain things as is, while knowing it will never be the same; it’s just painful and disheartening to know that you longer feel connected with people that were so important to you. Truth is people grow in different directions and sometimes who they were, who you were change.
Just like friendships, your partner or spouse can change and you might change over the course of the relationship or marriage. For some reason, society likes to label relationships and marriages into a box, an obligation.
Selfishness & Attachements In Lifelong Goals
But lets perhaps go even deeper, even in noble intentions that are supposedly not selfish. Having dreams and aspirations and goals in life are encouraged and it’s instilled within us to fight for something, to stand for something. But at the end of the day, it comes from selfishness and our perceived thought of lack in the world, this attachment and this desire we have, most of the time.
For example: Though many of us can be passionate about justice, fairness, and peace, why is it that we are so focused on changing certain things about the world so that it fits our ideal, so that it’s to our liking? Why not seek peace and justice in the places that do exist? It seems like we are drawn to negatives to make things positives.
In a logical and a practical world it seems you need to change something in order to improve things or make things a reality, but I wonder if we are going about it the wrong way, because in the process of wanting to improve something or make things better we are creating an image, an expectation within our minds of how things ought to be. And that is where attachment and desire, or selfishness seems to come from. We want things to be a certain way while working on our lifelong goals. Most of us are not trusting the process and the joy of being in the moment of living your life’s purpose.
Act of Letting Go of Desires & Being Selfless
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”
The most simple answer I can think of is accepting every moment as a passing feeling, something to observe, something to appreciate while it lasts without worrying of the future. Your pond of stability, depending on certain events and life circumstances, will be disturbed by outside influences, but sooner or later that pond will calm itself.
Material possessions, romantic partners, and friends all come and go whether you like it or not, but in the act of trying to possess something, we lose sight of the greatest gift of life; they joy and true appreciation of the world as is.
As much as I say this, I still hope and yearn for everlasting and timeless sense of beauty when it comes to life. I can only dream, but unfortunately it’s not the reality we live in.